He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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