I want to have your abortion
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
