You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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