You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
