K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
