Where did you get a picture of my penis
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
