im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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