so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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