yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
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