Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
