Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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