He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
