What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
