i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
