wat bout pragnant strippers??
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
