check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just cropdusted the office
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
