just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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