Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
