he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
