A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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