I'm laying in your front yard are you home
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
