Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
