You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
