he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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