If i come over, it means nothing
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
