Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
