My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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