i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
