Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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