I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
