made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
