She just used a chaser for red wine.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
