how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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