Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
