No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
So squirting runs in the family.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
