i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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