Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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