i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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