Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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