I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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