I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
