Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize