Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
