Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
