I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
