I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
only you would photoshop your dick
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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