i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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