apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
