This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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