but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
