He kissed a someone with a penis
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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