just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
