I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize