I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You are a genius and a whore.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
