This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
