dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
