lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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