Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
