I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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