My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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