If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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