yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
